Valentine's Day is less than a month away. Do you have a game plan that will please both you and your partner? I didn't think so, and that's why I've created one for you. Who loves you, Baby?

The Plan

She wants to know that you've put real thought into a special evening for the two of you. You want to avoid two things: maxed-out credit cards and the opera/ballet/experiential theater performance she's been dying to see. Here's the compromise - a romantically-themed evening that features plenty of details that show you care BUT includes none of the following: tutus, long waits at a busy "romantic" restaurant or cornea-searing Meg Ryan movies.

The Card

I took an informal poll of SCV guys and found out some not-so-surprising statistics. Here are my results...

Approximately 98 percent of my pollees purchased Valentine's Day cards at the supermarket on the drive over to the home of their beloved. Approximately 100 percent of these gents wrote their sweet sentiments in the car, precariously scribbling declarations of love by using the wheel as a makeshift desktop.

Don't be the guy who pulls over a block away from her house (or, worse, your house) to fill out some generic card. Pick up a real valentine, complete with all the details she'll love (like unique whimsical designs and three-dimensional elements), from Poka Dott Trinket and Party Shoppe (296-9884).

The Gift

You can't wait to see her in that lacy spandex number you bought. And she can't wait to take it off, but not for the reasons you're hoping. When you think "slinky," we think "clings to fat rolls." When you think "see-through material" we think "itchy, scratchy, rash-inducing." You think "revealing," we think "wedgie." Get the picture?

Why not buy her loungewear that she'll feel good in? A comfortable woman is a woman that's prepared to please. Your traditional damsel will love the silky, rich feel of Up Your Alley's deep-red pj's (259-4166), but if she's more on the playful side, choose Wear Me Out's knockout sequined-heart loungewear (263-7266).

The Food

Did you make dinner reservations yet? Santa Clarita's most romantic dining hot-spots book up quick, so unless you're planning on a Big Mac main course, you'd better take action soon (Like, right now. Hurry.). But I have a better suggestion. Why not order in from her favorite restaurant? You'll avoid the wait, the crowds, the traffic, the parking, the over-worked server...

Restaurants like Salt Creek Grille (222-9999) can create their remarkably gourmet dishes to-go. Call ahead to order, then pick up your meal at a set time. Just don't forget to put your selections on "real" plates - Styrofoam is sooo not-sexy.

The Drink

What's hotter than sipping champagne from a beautiful flute (Ok, you thought of something hotter, but come on - this is a family magazine.)? Add a touch of elegance to your at-home meal by spiking your bubbly with a splash of chambord. The liqueur sweetens the beverage and also adds a lovely pink hue to the glass. Women dig guys who are into the details.

The Dessert

Finish your meal with her two favorite treats: chocolate-covered strawberries and you. Feed her these luxe berries by hand for a sexy tactile experience. The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory (291-1133) sells hundreds of these sweet delicacies every Valentine's Day for a reason - they're delish and are a known aphrodisiac. Buy a lot of them (or at least six). Make sure to call ahead for an order, because these babies go quick.

The Entertainment

You've wined. You've dined. If you spelled everything correctly, she probably liked her card. Now have her slip into something more comfortable (told you those pajamas would come in handy) and cuddle up on the couch and assume prime flick-watching position. TheBoxSet.com, a locally owned movie review website (www.theboxset.com) makes the following suggestions for your evening entertainment: The American President, Casablanca, Doctor Zhivago, Love Story, An Officer and a Gentleman. The rest of the evening, my friend, is up to you.