For Christmas 2018, my true love gave to me... 12 days to plan a wedding.

It didn't seem unreasonable, since that was his offer after he found out that I was planning surprise nuptials - as in, he'd show up and I'd say, "Surprise!" as we walked down the aisle together.

For the record, I still think that would have been epicly awesome - but our elopement was everything we wanted - and nothing we didn't.

"More millennials than ever are eloping," in-the-know pubs like Glamour consistently announce - and, as "millennial adjacent," my new husband and I couldn't ignore the trend.
But that's not why we opted for a wedding smaller than most dinner rezzies. For us, it was about our personalities. We're both incredibly "others oriented," meaning that we can't help but spend a ton of emotional and physical energy ensuring the comfort of others. Knowing that the people around us feel good makes us feel good, a trait that makes us exceptional - but exhausted to-the-bone - hosts.

We knew what a traditional wedding for us would be like - managing personalities, mending fractured relationships between guests, checking to see if the kids had enough protein before they dived into the cake, wondering if we made anyone uncomfortable during our first kiss as husband and wife... We were tired just from discussing what would make us tired.

We live our lives for others - and we wanted this wedding to be just about us.

So elopement was always on the table - but still, we hesitated. My husband always dreamed of a grand event filled with hundreds of people, endless toasts and a dramatic exit. He wasn't sure that the "just us" wedding would meet his expectations.

That was, until he found out that I decided to bite the bullet solo. If we're being honest, I don't think I really would have gone through with it - but I wanted our special day to be remarkable for him. When he overheard me talking music options, I had to confess. The convo prompted a surprise for me: He was thrilled with my choice of location - a private historical estate we visited on our first day as a couple - and the date: Christmas Eve, the only day the spot was available.
It was less than two weeks away, so planning had to begin in earnest.

Here's the thing they don't tell you about eloping: Just because the guest list is small or, in our case, nonexistent, doesn't mean that you have less things to do. Flowers, hair, makeup, food, live music, officiant, transportation and more had to be arranged. It felt funny spending significant money on things no one would see except in pictures, but the upside was that every decision was for "us." What other people thought about the food, the look, the sound - it shouldn't have mattered, but it did. "Wait, no one has to like it but you and me," was a common refrain used during our planning.

I said "I do" to the sweetest man in the world in front of a photographer, officiant and the occasional car traveling alongside on PCH - and I wouldn't trade it for anything. There were no Father/Daughter dances, no best-man speech and no one to clink glasses to incite a kiss from my groom, though - and that's why this option isn't for everyone.

But if you're a fan of no fanfare, it's worth a chat with your beloved - whether you're a millennial or not!

Myth: You'll still be showered with gifts.
Fact: I'm uncomfortable getting gifts anyway, so I was happy to note that I didn't have to fawn over a new blender I don't have use for - but if you're expecting a big to-do bridal shower or engagement party after you announce that you're eloping, don't hold your breath. We did receive some very kind and appreciated gifts, but other eloped couples confirm: they are few and far between. But hey - you can save so much on your wedding, you'll be able to buy your own blender.

Myth: You're going to save a bazillion dollars if you elope.
Fact: That's true, unless - like us - you plan on having a big reception to celebrate down the line. The savings? They'll be zero after our open-bar bill.

Myth: People will think you have a "reason" to "rush off and get married." (Like: You're pregnant.)
Fact: This was actually a real concern of mine, but it didn't pan out that way. We put literal years of thought into how and when we'd tie the knot and mentioned our leanings to friends and family early on. Still, one friend asked if we had such a short engagement and an elopement because of a "bun in the oven." But two asked if we did it for a break on our 2018 taxes, since we waited so late in the year, so the summary is: People are going to ask dumb questions about anything, always.



When you decide to elope 12 days after your engagement, you need backup. J. David's Custom Clothiers and Blo Out Lounge saved the day for each of us. We were worried that Adam wouldn't have enough time to get everything together for his tux. He had a pre-scheduled trip that only allowed for two days before the wedding to get fitted and pick up his wedding attire. The staff at J. David's was so very excited for us and beyond accommodating. They assured us that their designer suits and tuxes available for rent were close at hand - as in, their off-site tailoring facility just a few miles from their Valencia store. He was in and out for a fitting in minutes, because I texted a secret picture of my dress to owner David himself, who personally ensured that Adam's tux would match beautifully. It did!
I bought my dress off the rack four days before the wedding - and was so deep in "dress" mode prior that I entirely forgot to book out my hair and makeup appointments. With just a few days to go, I called Blo Out Lounge asking for the impossible: an early-morning bridal appointment on... Christmas Eve. They were already filled to the brim, but they moved things around in order to put me with wedding and event specialists: stylists who have years of experience doing bridal appointments with panache. I was in and out right on time and was pampered at every turn. Since I didn't have a bridal party, the Blo Out gals became my honory bffs - and they excelled! I got hugs from everyone on the way out.