courtesy of Shutterstock

I honestly can't remember the last time I was in a pool but I currently I feel like I'm on the center podium with Olympic Gold around my neck.
Someone told me a few weeks ago that my ability to show emotion was inspiring. It came out of nowhere (Ok, J/K, I was crying at a chamber mixer, haha!), but her words have sat with me every day since. She quickly noted that she meant it as a compliment.
My emotional transparency may very well be my finest attribute; emotion should never be confused with weakness because when fully utilized, it builds the strongest bonds that can't be broken.
I share this random fact with you because exactly one month ago I received an e-mail that changed... everything.
"Jeanna, your new price is attached."
- Your Printer
Here are the cliff notes: Paper is wood.
15 papermills closed in the US last year. Most everyone stopped printing (Except me!). China bought our surplus. Most everyone is printing again. Supply and demand. I passed high school ECON #alivewithpride.
I knew this lesson was going to take me back to school.
First I got under my desk and cried, then I stared at my computer screen for a few hours, then I had some hard conversations with my staff. Therese immediately asked, "Well, are we ready to be done now?" and then I cried again. You never really know how much you love something until you are at risk of losing it. Can you see me swimming yet?
Here's the thing - if you are ever in a traumatic situation or just need an assist and need it now and you know me, I'm the first call. I am calm in trauma, I am compassionate always and quite frankly I just get sh#t done. I am asked all the time what kind of powers I have. I'm a swimmer! I'm emotionally invested in everything and everyone I love. I know this isn't known as healthy to most but I glow for a reason.
After some still moments, I did one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I called every advertiser in the magazine and after 16 years, I raised the rates. Our calls were anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours each. The first few all quickly said the same exact thing: "I need you, I'll do anything you need." These business owners let us switch roles with the ease that only one can do when they are emotionally connected. They gave me counsel, they did for me what I have done for them without hesitation for 16 years.
A few yelled at me for not doing what I needed to do sooner. I have always put their best interests before my own. This publication is a stage and they have always been the star. These calls went on for two weeks and every single one was hard to make but each one blessed me beyond measure.
It occurred to me that I was in the midst of one of the most refining moments of my life. Refining moments are like defining moments but they are more painful. I knew God was in control but He was pushing, pulling and tumbling me in ways that were new and most uncomfortable - He knows what I can handle and ultimately the plan He has for my life. He took this severe dyslexic former model and made her a publisher and the Queen of Christmas - I stopped questioning Him a long time ago.
With my grown up version of colored pencils and a notebook (aka an excel spreadsheet) - I started to color code my future.
Red was "YES." Blue was COMPLETE. Revised contracts came back fast and many with the file renamed "JC.pdf" - this is love!
These are my people, these business owners are my family. The dreams they have for their business and families are the dreams I work to see come true.
This cover has more meaning to me than anyone could ever imagine. I'm wrapping up this issue with a completely blue spreadsheet, a full heart and a cup that runneth over.
I cannot wait to see all this refinement at work. The best is yet to come.
Inside SCV advertisers, you complete me.
XOXO, Jeanna
Jeanna Crawford is a proud publisher of Inside SCV Magazine and, when not on deadline, lives a glitterfull life of sparkle and shine as a DIY tutorialist and high-end holiday designer. Follow her at @JeannaLovesChristmas on Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest and - yes - TikTok.