EAT
There's a reason "Free pizza!" announcements adorn flyers for real estate seminars, sorority recruitment events and everything in between: Because free pizza rocks. Put Pavlov to the test (are you drooling yet?) and plan on being at Wings, Pizza N Things every Wednesday in April for their Family Pizza Night. Guests can buy one large pizza and get the second one totally gratis. Handmade, mouthwatering selections include The Warthog (pepperoni, sausage, bacon, Canadian bacon and ground beef) or make your own with over 12 fresh toppings to choose from; 295-1000

Fast food has a well-deserved bad wrap. But "slow food" that gets to your table super fast? Now that's a whole different matter entirely. El Chaparral Mexican Restaurant in Canyon Country (252-5599) and Presidente Mexican Grill in Saugus (297-7244) are now offering a new Lunch Express menu from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. Break up the daily grind for just $7.95 (And add a margarita, Honey. What do you think those cute little mints at the hostess stand are for, anyway?). Gourmet burritos, single-item combos and even the Presidente Burger can be had for less than a tenner. AĦQue bueno!

You're right: A restaurant and lounge that has a martini menu over 100 lip-licking entries long (Chocolate, Green Apple...) really doesn't need to offer much more to fill tables. So maybe the folks at The Social have been taking advantage of the House special, if you know what we mean... Because on page 71, you'll find a tasteful coupon for 20 percent off your entire food bill on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. We suggest you use it post haste, before they notice; 799-9155

Scarfing down a bowl of Special-K for breakfast may keep you alive, but it's certainly not living. Do much more of the latter by treating yourself to Sabor Cocina Mexicana's Champagne Sunday Brunch (from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.). New plated options include Coconut-Banana Pancakes (topped with fresh coconut agave syrup) and Crepes a la Mexicana, filled with eggs, oaxaca cheese, bacon and topped with crema de elote; 259-9002

"OMG" now stands for Outstanding Monday Grub. Get yourself over to Gandolfo's New York Delicatessen on Mondays between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. for a NY Steak Sandwich that's the best start to the week we've ever tasted. Incredibly tender, full of flavor, grilled with onions and mushrooms and served on a fresh-baked parmesan-crusted roll, this hot piece of meat (literally) could only be made better with Gandolfo's $1 deal. Buy any regularly-sized sandwich and receive a second regular-sized sandwich for just $1; 257-8844

EASTER EDITION
Are the kids "beyond the bunny?" Then make a date for the Easter Brunch Cruise aboard the luxurious Scarlett Belle. Take in the sights, listen to music, linger in the sun and visit the captain on the two-hour sightseeing cruise of the Channel Islands Harbor. Buffet menu includes champagne, mimosas and bloody marys, captain's carved beef with creamed horseradish, honey ham, smoked salmon, shrimp and crab cocktails, egg frittata, corned beef and hash, waffles, veggie pasta roma, salads and assorted pies and cakes. Mention this listing and take $50 off for parties of six or more; 805-204-0977

Let Italia Panetteria & Deli help you celebrate Easter with all the traditions of Italy with their homemade Pastiera (wheat pie made with ricotta cheese), egg Tarrali (cookies), Scarcele (Italian sweetbread) and chocolate foil-wrapped Easter eggs imported from Italy. With advanced orders, they will also make their special bread in the shape of a cross to help decorate your Easter table - Buona Pasqua; 294-9069

Forget the egg-carrying rabbit. Our Easter celebrations are all about the ham. And this year, we can't wait to carve up a Black Forest-style ham from Schreiner's Fine Sausages. A family-owned joint now run by the third generation, Schreiner's has such a following that their smoked-on-the-premises meats can be purchased via the internet. We're salivating over the $20 ham (estimated at 2.5 to 3 pounds) that will arrive at our door fresh from the Glendale location. If you wanna check out the goods before you click order, visit on Saturdays for $5 barbecue, featuring Bratwurst, Chicken Sausages, Burgers, Tri-Tip, Kraut and Potato Salad; 818-244-2945
www.schreinersfinesausages.com


DRINK
Sometimes you just can't get enough of a good thing, and when that good thing is a beer seasoned with pure pumpkin, cinnamon, all spice, whole cloves and nutmeg, you get your arse over to Oggi's Pizza & Brewing Co. Their Pumpkin Ale Lager is back by popular demand and in limited supply. Pair yours with March Madness, 36-inch flat-screen TVs and a killer meal; 252-7883

"I will cut the cheese" just became the sexiest sentence ever - presuming you're at New Moon when it's uttered. (And not, um, anywhere else.) The hot spot's Happy Hour now features a gourmet cheese platter starting at $6, including three types of cheese, almonds, dates, dill pickles, pepperchinis and crackers. It's a perfect complement to the extensive wine list, or select from a variety of happy hour apps for just $3 and $4; 257-4321

Taquitos, flautas, chicken fingers, buffalo wings, nachos especial, Santa Fe rolls, oh my! Take the yellow brick road (aka the newly-minted Cross Valley Connector) over to Hacienda Don Cuco Mexican Restaurant for a list of $5 Happy Hour munchies that would make the Tin Man's heart skip a beat. With Happy Hour seven days a week from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m., there's plenty of time to soothe your inner Wicked Witch; 252-8074

The early bird gets the worm (but in this case, only if you're drinking some authentic tequila). The Early Happy Hour at Salt Creek Grille (from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.) includes some pretty serious awesomeness, like drink specials, a cup of house soup for $3 and Artichoke & Parmesan Spinach Dip for $7. Happy Hour (from 4 p.m. to 6:30 p.m.) includes drink specials and a complimentary appetizer buffet; 222-9999

PLAY
Don't let the ship sail/sink without you. Enjoy the "Last Supper" served on the Titanic and meet Andrew Caldwell, the History Chef, who will be signing his new hardcover book, "Their Last Suppers." Tamra Levine, director of catering at Salt Creek Grille and owner of Heritage Lane Productions, will prepare Captain John Smith's final meal aboard the ill-fated Titanic, while Vino 100 pairs wines perfect for the occasion. There are two dinner seatings for April 22 and 23; 294-6886

Our favorite child management phrase, "Be nice, or Mommy is going to feed you to the wolves," just went from empty threat to deserving of a call to Social Services - and it's all because of the Red Riding Hoods at Wolf Creek Restaurant & Brewing Company. In what might be the coolest idea ever, the brewpub is hosting the Wolf Rescue Event on March 27 and 28 with live wolves on location. Have your picture taken with the fang-toothed set and order something a little extra, since 15 percent of the weekend's proceeds will benefit the rescue Wolf Connection; 263-9653

When we were in high school, "fast" was not taken as a compliment. How times have changed. Now you can take 25 percent off (Which, by the way, is why they called us fast in the first place.) an individual race or Track Pass with MB2 Raceway's coupon found on page 67. Hurry! The deal expires March 31; 866-986-RACE

Keyes Lexus of Valencia 260-2000

The aerodynamic exterior of Lexus's newest hybrid provides less than a subtle hint about the state-of-the-art technology cleverly tucked away inside. The HS Hybrid, with Lane Keep Assist (to gently steer you into your lane, should you start wandering), dynamic radar cruise control (to help you keep a safe distance between your vehicle and the car up ahead), and improved efficiencies between the engine, battery and regenerative brakes, makes this a "car of the future" that is available today (starting at only $34,650!). And here's some even more attractive numbers: 35 (miles per gallon); 30 (the percentage of the interior made with plant-derived plastics); and nearly 30 (the percentage the acoustic windshield reduces infrared rays, keeping the cabin temp consistent and reducing the air conditioner's work load to boost fuel economy).
Test-drive ready at Keyes Lexus of Valencia 260-2000.