Had I known my mother in law would meet her first grandbaby through a foggy window on a rainy morning, I would have invested in better patio furniture - and more tissues.
Had I known that I would spend the first months of my youngest daughter's life "safe at home," I would have stashed more treats - and toilet paper.
Had I known what real loneliness really was - that, for the first time in at least 30 years, I would cry for my mother - I would have lingered at my baby showers longer and hugged sisters and friends harder.
Had I known how much I would need to lean on my husband and my tween children for the physical and emotional care of a geriatric postpartum mom and late preterm newborn, I would have started being less critical when things weren't done "my way" a lot sooner.
Had I known that a stranger in Castaic would immediately head out to a drug store, buy and then door drop baby saline nose spray because I mentioned I needed it on Facebook - and not accept any payment - I would have made a better effort to get to know my neighbors.
Had I known that a mom I'd never met in Santa Clarita would craft and deliver some of her homemade French macarons for my son because it was all he wanted in his Easter basket, I would have been more eager to raise my hand when a stranger needed help.
Had I known how proud I'd be of my city's, county's and state's response to this crisis, I would have been less quick to complain when political policies didn't go my way.
Had I known that I would have my last baby in my first pandemic, I would have done so many things differently - but not much would have mattered. The only way through things is... through it.
Had I known that my baby would be here in my arms right now, encompassing my thoughts and healing my anxious heart, I would not have been so afraid. Taylor Byrd Tunney was born on March 16, 2020. She is my constant reminder to be present, hopeful and grateful. She has been the impetus for so many bright blessings for me and many others. Smiles from California to Florida to DC have traveled across weary faces because pictures of her pop into emails and social-media feeds. She is a treasure for all who love her - from a distance, for now.
Had I known that having a baby in a pandemic would be such a gift, I would have planned it this way.
Wishing you surprising blessings during uncertain times,
Therese
Taylor Byrd Tunney |