Face it. You don't have the time to cultivate a rich, deep tan - and even if you did, you'd end up looking like a bronzed raisin. Thank you, global warming!

So, what's a pale gal (or guy) to do under such harsh circumstances? (No, exposing your Elmer's Glue-white gams with a complete disregard for the safety of others is absolutely not the answer.)

What is the answer? Fake it, don't bake it, Baby.

Colour Couture
There are self tanners, and then there are super-posh, Hollywood-approved airbrushed spray tanners. The second is the glowing description of the Colour Couture line offered by the tantresses at Tranquility Salon & Spa. In 20 minutes, including drying time, your bod will be manually sprayed with a harmless organic tanning formula that offers seriously deceptive (in a good way) results. The only hint that your tan wasn't gifted from the sun: your undamaged, baby-soft skin.

Glow On: Depending on your skin type and maintenance (like applying a moisturizer daily), your gorgeous glow will last for about five to 10 days, according to the Colour Couture website.

(Sand)Dollars: Tranquility (255-5635) is offering $40 airbrush tans through the month of June, and when you buy three, you get the fourth free.

Mystic Summer
This isn't your momma's tanning bed! The most technologically-advanced high-pressure and low-pressure tanning beds and stand-up units available are at Summers Indoor Tanning. Experience their 98 to 99 percent UV-B-free Elite and Premium tanning units: the quickest, darkest and most gentle tan for your skin. The SCV mainstay also features the Mystic Tan UV-Free sunless spray tanning system for those who crave a totally ray-less result.

Glow on: The most discriminating tan fans know that the longest-lasting tan comes from VHR/Hi-Pressure tanning technology. Everyone's skin is different, but if you are going for low maintenance with hot rewards, this one's for you.

(Sand)Dollars: All six of Summers Indoor Tanning's (www.summersindoortanning.com) Santa Clarita locations are now offering 30 days of unlimited tanning for just $29.

Tropical Spray
Tropics Sunless Spray Tan Studio uses a state-of-the-art formulation that is 99 percent natural and organic based. The good-for-your-skin formula provides intensive age-fighting and skin-firming benefits, too. It strengthens and reinforces skin tone and elasticity, with clinical studies showing that it promotes cell regeneration and smooth, glowing skin. The relaxing application is quick, with the solution air misted onto your body using a soft spray.

Glow on: According to owner Lorrie Anderschat, the state-of-the-art formulation will make your stickiness-free, pleasant-smelling bronze-colored dreams a reality for approximately 10 days.

(Sand)Dollars: Your natural-looking bronze tan from Tropics Sunless Spray Tan Studio (313-4878) will only set you back $25 clams.

Feeling the Burn?
Almost everyone living in the Santa Clarita Valley has experienced damage to their skin because of sun exposure. This can show up as freckles, brown spots, keratosis (red scaly areas), fine lines and poor texture. DermaCure (257-8400) offers four levels of treatment for these issues.

The Obagi NuDerm system is a combination of products used over a four to six month period that can address sun damage.
The V.I. Peel contains a synergistic blend of powerful yet medical-strength ingredients suitable for all skin types to accomplish its anti-aging results.

LimeLight is a programmable Fotofacial that is excellent in treating brown spots and texture issues.

Fraxel is an amazing laser that addresses all sun damage issues with little or no down time on any skin type. It is the gold standard of lasers.

Don't wait to start reversing the damage of the sun - and don't forget to wear sunblock!

Pre-bronze Prep
Don't waste time and money. Bronzed beauties put in a little effort pre-tanning to reap the hottest of rewards.

Exfoliate
Loofahs and salt scrubs can both do the job. You'll want to focus your energies on particularly tough skin (think: elbows, feet, knees).

Don't Lather the Lotion
To maintain your tan, it's all about the moisture. But before you spray, stay away from oils, lotions.

Forget the Perfume
Some weird (as in strange, not as in dangerous) results have been described by folks who spritz perfume before they spray tan. So, go without and forget the deodorant, too. You don't want that layer of antiperspirant to stand between you and an even tan.

Dress to (not) Impress
Your pre-tan attire should be the opposite of a sexy summer ensemble: loose and dark.