All children develop at their own rate, including infants and toddlers. They have their own timetable for toilet training, sippy cups, crawling, walking, and starting to talk. The people around them and the events they experience influence the how and when they begin. As parents we help our children develop when we respect their rates of development and don't push them. A great example is when we think about babies. Dinkmeyer, author of "Systematic Training for Effective Parenting" says, "Babies need time and space on the floor. This lets them learn to crawl when they are ready. They don't need crawling lessons!"

Babies (ages 0-18 months) need to have time to explore at their own pace. Be careful not to over stimulate. They need toys that are appropriate for their development stage, nothing too difficult, too hard or too small. Whether they're breast-feeding or bottle feeding, watch for them to be interested in a cup, don't force them to give up the breast or bottle before they're ready. Sometimes as parents we can feel pressured into doing things on a timetable that's being determined by family members, work, or what children of our friends did at the same age. The timetable to use is the one your baby and you are comfortable with.

During this time babies are learning to trust their parents, themselves, and the world around them. They are starting to understand that someone will take care of them when they cry, provide them food, and help them dress. They learn to comfort themselves with a blanket, a thumb, or a pacifier. They begin to try to get what they want by crawling and grasping. They're discovering their world on their own, learning that sometimes food tastes good, sometimes bad, that shots hurt and cats are soft.

Around this time babies start to use words, especially the magic word: no. "Mama and Dada" are the words we're eagerly anticipating but sometimes "no" pops out first. Babies even use "no" when they mean "yes." As parents it's helpful to figure out ways to use the word "yes" more than the word "no." Distraction is a good technique to use with infants. Phrases like, "Our hands are for hugging and clapping, not hitting," or "I like candy too but what do we eat for lunch?" are useful alternatives. Sometimes we really need to use "no," but it helps to save it for the big things. "No! Don't touch that..." helps our babies learn to listen and to understand when we really need their attention. "No" is reserved for harm and danger. It's all about safety.

Playtime is another important part of a baby's growth. During play a child develops and learns about their world and their place in it. They practice skills and through trial and error begin to understand their life. Play is a child's work.

Babies need opportunities to play with their parents. Playtime builds a strong relationship between parent and child and gives them the freedom to explore and learn. Playtime offers the chance to enter your child's world. It can be a time to join in and follow your child's lead, maybe a time to teach a skill, or to help your child express their feelings.

Lots of love, lots of play, and not too many expectations... Being a parent is a big job but you can do it!


After raising two sons, Kim now directs her attention to baby Agie, her Great Dane. Contact Kim via e-mail at kschafer@insidescv.com.