All children deserve the chance to have a healthy mom and all moms deserve the chance to enjoy their babies. However, postpartum depression can take that chance away. It's a very real type of depression that occurs after pregnancy. Unfortunately many women don't or won't tell anyone about the symptoms of postpartum depression because they feel embarrassed, ashamed or guilty. It can happen to any woman. I know. It happened to me.

I was already running around after a 4 year old when I gave birth to my second son. After he came home from the hospital I started having out-of-body experiences, as if I was watching myself from a distance. My husband was into feeding him, changing him.... I did those things too, but on automatic pilot. I kept telling myself it was normal. I was just overwhelmed and tired. No big deal.

Singing little songs, I was willing him to know how much I loved him. Exhausted, sad and confused, I spent most of the time with a smile plastered on my face - wasn't I supposed to be the happiest mom with my beautiful new son?

I told no one. I decided that there was something wrong with me and that I'd fake it until I felt better. Eventually I did feel better. After about three months I woke up. That's the only way I can explain what happened. I was no longer sad or felt that immobilizing kind of tiredness. Holding my son, I could actually feel joy.

Today, working with families who have young children, I hear story after story of moms who've also struggled with some level of depression after childbirth. The symptoms cause such hurt and confusion. For most moms it's a slap in the face after the expectation that once that baby is in their arms, they'll be filled with maternal love. Like me, they're shocked. Some already have children and never experienced this before.

"Baby blues" refers to a mild depression that can occur right after childbirth and usually goes away after a few days or a week or two. As new moms, we may experience mood swings, sadness, crying spells, sleeping problems, loss of appetite, disinterest or disconnection, irritability or restlessness. Most of these symptoms can be helped by napping when the baby naps, asking for help from family and friends, talking to other new moms so you don't feel alone, getting dressed and leaving the house with the baby, making time alone with your husband or partner, asking for help with other household chores and nighttime feedings.

Postpartum depression lasts longer, occurring anytime in the first year after birth and may seriously affect a mom's wellbeing and keep her from functioning. Moms may lack energy, have trouble concentrating, have hallucinations, have rapid mood swings, experience feelings of loss (of identity, control, confidence, pre-pregnancy figure), have obsessive thoughts about the baby, and may not be able to meet her baby's need for love and affection.

Moms, if you are experiencing any symptoms of depression, mild, moderate or severe, please talk to your husband, partner, family member, close friend or another new mom. It's very important to get help from your doctor. Depression hurts the entire family. It takes courage to reach out and ask for help. Loved ones: pay attention, be available to help, and be nonjudgmental.

I think it's vital that moms come together and support each other. We need to wipe out the stigma attached to living through postpartum depression. No one should suffer alone.


Kim loves receiving comments and questions. Contact her at kschafer@insidescv.com.