When I was growing up, nobody in my neighborhood had ever heard of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder(ADHD). There was the occasional kid who couldn't seem to sit still but their parents labeled them as "busy" and they were sent to play outside to work off the excess energy. Today, almost everyone has heard of ADHD and nearly every parent knows a child diagnosed with it. But even with all the information and literature, ADHD can still be complicated to diagnose and difficult to understand.

How does attention deficit hyperactivity disorder feel? Kids often describe it this way: "It's like my braining is humming all the time and I can't make it stop." They wonder, "Why can't I be like everyone else?" "Why am I like this?" "Is there something wrong with me?" "Why can't I pay attention?"

These kids may have difficulty sitting still in school, controlling their impulses, paying attention, focusing and trouble keeping track of things. It's very common for them to complain that other things get in the way. They are easily distracted by interruptions. It's similar to channel surfing when you watch TV. Kids with ADHD can't stop the channel in their mind from changing. They have a lot of thoughts constantly running through their head and when they try to focus to hear something the channel changes and they lose focus.

Struggling to stay focused and to keep still can cause difficulties at school. It has nothing to do with how smart they are but it may mean they need additional help learning how to focus in the classroom and how to manage homework. When it's difficult to pay attention, adults may get confused or annoyed and kids get angry trying to explain that they are, in fact, paying attention.

It's easy for everyone to pay attention to the things they like, including kids with ADHD. All children find it less of a struggle to focus on something they're interested in but adults may think kids with ADHD aren't trying because it looks like they focus only on what they like and lose the ability when the subject matter is less enticing. That is what's happening but not by choice. Because they're easily distracted, anything less interesting or harder to understand is harder to focus on. The channel starts changing. They also may feel like they have to move, stand up, touch things, move their hands or legs and when they can't they may feel angry or irritable.

Having a child that can't seem to keep track of things can also be frustrating, as these children appear disorganized or forgetful. They lose track of time and tend to procrastinate. Kids themselves share that they're just as frustrated as their parents or teachers because they're frequently in trouble for losing things, for being late or for forgetting to do something.

Making and keeping friends may be a challenge for kids with ADHD. Because they often lack impulse control they act before they think and speak before they think, creating hurt feelings among friends or schoolmates. It also might be hard to take turns or to follow rules. Parents, consider adult-supervised organized activities outside of school. These opportunities can be a positive place to learn about making friends.

All children need support and for children with ADHD it's incredibly important for them to know their family, friends and teachers encourage them. Parents, talk with your child so you can begin to understand how they feel. They will need lost of "extras": extra help getting organized, extra help slowing down, extra patience, extra time for listening and talking and extra practice coming up with solutions for problems. Don't forget that consistency with routine, discipline and nutrition make a difference, too. However, the most important component is you talking with your child, letting them know you want to understand and to help.

For any parent concerned that their child displays some of the characteristics discussed above, consulting a professional such as a doctor or a psychotherapist would be a good place to start. Talk with the teacher to see if your child's behaviors at school are similar to those at home. Ask for help. Ask questions. Learn more about ADHD.


For questions or suggestions, e-mail Kim at kschafer@insidescv.com.