I received a dramatic phone call from my husband a few years back. He was at work, had bent over and sneezed, couldn't straighten up and was on his way to the hospital for an MRI. Sound familiar? If you're over 50 chances are you know someone this has had a similar experience. It's just another wonderful benefit of aging. The disks in our vertebrae begin to lose their viscosity and all of a sudden, you have a slipped or bulging disk. Well, fellow Boomers, here are the facts. Low back pain disables 5 million people in the U.S. and forces people to lose 93 million work days each year.

With facts in hand, I visited Dr. Joseph Terrazzino, a specialist is rehabilitation medicine. Please bear in mind this is the kind saint who takes care of my many medical maladies which are the basis for these sardonic monthly menopausal musings. Dr. T explained that when we age, disks between our vertebrae become less malleable (think of them as shock absorbers) and we have a decrease in strength and elasticity in our muscles and ligaments. Lower back pain is very common as we age and although we can't reverse the effects of aging (much as I would like to), there are things we can do to make the suffering more tolerable. Exercising, not smoking, learning how to lift, good posture and staying within healthy weight ranges are all recommended. By the time I was through with the "do's" and "don'ts," I was so depressed I skipped the soybeans and went right for the vodka!

My mom lovingly shared her degenerative disk disease gene with me, as well as the Catholic Italian guilt genes. I can remember years ago seeing Mother sitting in a doorway with her neck in a traction contraption suspended from the door frame. Traction is still used and each time I climb on the rack I fervently hope I'll get off at least 2 or 3 inches taller. My rationale is that if I get tall enough, I won't be overweight. Sure makes sense to me. So in my fantasy of fantasies, I'm 5-feet-10-inches tall with no guilt trips.

I'm tackling the posture thing with a vengeance. I have post-it notes all over the house and my car reminding me to stand up straight, head up, shoulders back, tuck in my buns and suck in my tummy. Do you know how difficult it is to do all these things and then casually stroll into a room? Try it, but only in the privacy of your own home. In my never-ending quest for graceful aging, you can find me diligently practicing my walk with the "The John Hopkins Encyclopedia of Drugs for People Over 50" on my head. Great visual, huh? Thus far I have tripped over the dog once, kitty twice, amused the Fed Ex lady when I answered the door and delighted the neighbors with my efforts. My family has since hooked me to the traction on my bed with strict instructions not to get up.

If there is any moral to this tale woe, it would be to just grin and bear it. Exercise is such a key to all of this aging business and at times it's difficult to motivate myself to walk any further than the refrigerator. My dear friend Kate sent me an e-mail urging me to live life to its fullest, not to worry about anything, and at the end, go out in a blaze of glory munching on a box of chocolate truffles and drinking a martini. You know, it doesn't sound like such a bad idea!


You can contact Ann via e-mail at ann@azfinsurance.com.