No, this monthly musing is not about divorce, nor is it about death, although they are all related. The Big D is depression, a condition that is still coming out of the closet. We've all been down in the dumps, but how many of us are suffering from depression?

I have a wonderful, close friend who has battled depression for years. I remember her going through a particularly ugly time in her marriage; she emotionally crashed and checked into a psychiatric hospital for a nervous breakdown. I went to visit her a couple of days later. Now, I won't say I had an out of body experience, but it certainly shook my world as I knew it. I was let into a locked facility and as I looked around, there, looming over a pool table in the recreation room was the largest man I'd ever seen. For a minute I thought I had been transported into the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and quickly looked around for Jack Nicholson and Nurse Ratchet. My friend looked tired, but surprisingly calm. We went out into the courtyard so she could smoke and as we walked around the gardens a young woman approached us. "Where are you from?," she asked, and we told her. "I'm from the other side," she said. And that was it, I was out of there, and several days later so was my friend.

There is a definite difference between insanity and depression, and my purpose is not to plunge into the world of psychiatry, but merely to point out that and as we get older we may be more prone to depression. It makes sense - ED (Erectile Dysfunction) is now a household word, and for many of us, fighting the battle of the bulge is now a way of life. Our friends are either dying or lapsing into serious mid-life crises while the rest of us are on a quest for a graceful way of aging. None of this is easy on the brain, my dears.

I'm not saying that depression is on the rise, and rest assured, it is not a normal part of aging. So, continuing my personal quest for the fountain of youth and a bit of immortality, I turned to the internet and found a multitude of websites offering a plethora of information on depression. I found out that studies show that depression may run in families (Thanks, Mom.). I always thought being overly emotional, eccentric and zesty was my Italian heritage until a psychiatrist told me I was neurotic. So much for my Mediterranean genes!

How do we know if we're depressed or just experiencing the blues? If any of the following last more than a few weeks, you should get thee to a mental health provider:

• Changes in mood, appetite or sleep
• Changes in activity levels or speed of thinking
• Feeling as though you are operating in slow motion
• Difficulty making a decision (You mean that isn't normal?)
• Inability to experience pleasure (I won't touch that one)
• Intense thoughts of doom and gloom

Keep in mind that depression can co-exist with other serious diseases such as stroke, diabetes, heart or Parkinson's disease. To sum it all up, my dear friend's description of depression is this: It's as if you're living in a dark tunnel and the only light is a moving train coming right towards you.

All morbid humor aside, there is excellent information available online from the National Institute of Mental Health, www.nimh.nih.gov, and the National Mental Health Association, www.nmha.org. Locally, help is available through the Child and Family Center, Henry Mayo Hospital and a number of counselors and psychotherapists.

Personally, I've found there is nothing quite as cathartic as a pity party of one. But as I've gotten older and wiser, I now wade through the muck, mire and depths of despair with a box of chocolate, a wad of tissues and a timer to make sure I don't stay too long.


You can interrupt Ann's timed pity parties by e-mailing her at ann@azfinsurance.com.