Fibromyalgia is an ugly syndrome with a variety of symptoms including severe fatigue, chronic pain, memory problems, irritable bowel, sleep disorders, headaches and lack of energy. Wow, that was a mouthful, and people still live through and with it! I read somewhere that many of Dr. Kevorkian's patients had Fibromyalgia Syndrome, which doesn't thrill me since I've had the diagnosis for over two years, and the syndrome for over seven that I can remember. I did say memory problems, didn't I? To help you relate, think back to the last time you had a bad flu - every muscle in your body shouted out in pain and you had absolutely no energy.

There are many similarities to chronic fatigue syndrome, and a number of experts in this field feel they may be one and the same. More women than men are affected with FMS, it shows up in people of all ages, predominately us maturing folks, and a possible genetic link is now being investigated.

Now I know there isn't much that's funny about FMS. But if you subscribe to the philosophy that "humor is the soul's weapon in the unfairness of life," you can find humor in everything. I thought about the ugliness of FMS, and since I have always been "a glass half full" person, can tell you there is a funny side to this as well. So, let's take these symptoms one at a time.

Pain: The pain is all over so a simple heating pad or ice pack doesn't touch it. Massage is the treatment of choice and relieves pain in over 25 percent of FMS sufferers. Now there aren't many diseases out there for which a good massage is the recommended treatment, so this is a nice bonus. I now count down the days until my weekly therapeutic massage with Curtis at Dragon Acupuncture.

Fatigue: Tiredness couples with memory problems, otherwise known as "fibro-fog." I've found that I can read the same book every few months and not realize it until almost the end. This sure saves trips to the library and bookstore!

Sleep disorders: These issues affect most of us fibro fellows (or would that be fibro felines, since it affects mainly women?). I actually have adjusted to my sleep apnea apparatus and pity those people who do not look into the mirror and laugh themselves to sleep like I do.

IBS: Affectionately known as Irritable Bowel Syndrome, has made me a serious bran fanatic. Thus far I have developed recipes for bran appetizers, entrees and desserts although truth be told, I'm having a bit of a problem with my bran souffle. On a side note, this forces you to have the obligatory colonoscopy (yes, I used the other "C" word) every five years. My results came with colored photos to share with family and friends.

Chronic headaches: Now seriously, isn't life one big headache at times? So we pop some Tylenol, sip a martini, some good red wine (for the antioxidants), or down a brew and move on. Now, I'm not minimizing migraines and vascular headaches because I speak from personal experience of their seriousness. It just seems as though life is speeding by, and I would hate to think I'm stuck on the sidelines with a chronic headache.

Muscle twitching: Restless Leg Syndrome. Some nights it's just me, my jumpy legs and Charles Bronson's "Death Wish 24" at 3 am.

Impaired coordination: All these years, I thought I was just a klutz! I repeated Introduction to Ballet twice; never "got" the Macarena and Lord help me if I have to learn line dancing!

And there are more, but enough is enough. Okay, so Fibromyalgia is a pain in the butt, as well as the rest of the body, and yes, it is chronic. But it's not terminal, so there's a lot to be grateful for, and besides, life's too short not to dance on bubble wrap.


When Ann's not watching bad cable TV in the middle of the night, she enjoys reading comments and suggestions. E-mail her at ann@azfinsurance.com.