A very wise person once wrote that, "Change is inevitable except in vending machines." I now find myself in the throes of divorce (thus the name change) and have begun venturing out into the world of single boomers.

Not surprisingly, I am in the company of multitudes. There are millions of people over 50 who are either widowed or divorced. Fifty years ago, being a single woman was commonly considered to be a death sentence; the poor soul was doomed to a life of spinsterhood after their husband died or (gasp) divorce occurred. Women generally didn't remarry. Thankfully, the market now recognizes this large number of singles, especially women, and it's a brand new world out there! According to AARP, 70 percent of single boomers are actively dating.

Opportunities for singles abound. There is every type of singles group imaginable, from Christian Singles to gay/lesbian singles; cruises for singles; Club Med for singles; hiking clubs; lunch and dinner clubs; dances and of course the ever popular online dating.

Whenever I find myself surfing the net, I'm amazed at the hundreds of sites offering dating services. There is seniors dating; dating by states or countries; by nationalities; religions; race; sexual preference and yes, even by size (big and beautiful women are quite popular, thank goodness).

The most important part of online dating is writing your profile and selecting a pseudonym. Therein lays the first challenge. I went to a dating site and checked out some of the monikers used. There was Burnedbypsycho, Travellingman, Kissmeufool, Housebroken50, Playsoutdoors, Right14unme, and one of my favorites, Passioninmotion. There was the proverbial Marktheshark, Dancindan, FastFreddee, Princeofpassion, and believe it or not, Italianstallion.

"Dating as a 'senior' is certainly different than when we were young, immortal and hadn't heard of prostate problems, chronic back pain or rotator cuff surgery."

It was time to give some thought as to what I might register as. Some names that have come to mind are Datingdiva, Aginggracefully or even Boomerbabe. Then again, I could go for the gusto with Looking4lotzfun, Ontheroadagain or MercedezMama. Okay, maybe the last was wishful thinking, but since this is fantasy cyberspace, anything goes.

After you read a number of profiles, they all seem the same. Everybody's looking for love. They're all romantic, intelligent, good looking and enjoy giving affection. So I ask myself, if these men are this wonderful, why are they all single?

Well, there are a few hints I picked up on real fast, in particular, the "last read" section where singles disclose what tomes grace their bedside reading table. "Prevention Magazine," "Readers Digest" (in large print) and the "2006 Guide to Medicare" were big clues. Then again, the "hobbies" section also gave me a glimpse into the lives of these self-described "catches." Some listed rock tumbling. Others confessed to watching soap operas. Most alarming, though, was the gent who boasted about collecting bugs. I ask you, dear readers, if you were single and were limited to a few words to describe your lifestyle to the point that you would be attractive to the opposite sex, would you discuss your secret six-legged spider collection?

Dating as a "senior" is certainly different than when we were young, immortal and hadn't heard of prostate problems, chronic back pain or rotator cuff surgery. Somehow the idea of "skinny dipping" isn't as appealing as in days of youth gone by when no one knew what cellulite was.

My brother is keeping his motorcycle in my garage and rest assured, the door is left open when dates come to call. It certainly is a conversation starter, much more than discussions of last surgeries or newest arthritis rubs. I'm seriously considering hanging Christmas wreaths around the garage, perching on the bike with a Santa Claus hat and glass of wine in hand. The message could read "On the Road Again... Wishing you and yours a wonderful journey through the holidays and into the New Year." Then again, I could post the picture on my profile for online dating under the moniker Bodacious Biker Babe.

This senior dating might just foster a new reality show, "Won't You Marry my Grandma?" The nice thing about being older and single is that there are plenty of us and we're all in the same boat. I'm just hoping that the guy who loves bugs is seated quite far away from me.


Send your suggestions for Ann's online profile name, or offer to take her out for a spin on that motorcycle, by e-mailing ann@insidescv.com.