The good news: Men don't need beautiful centerpieces to think a party is successful. The bad news: You don't know a first-down from a Lombardi trophy. Don't worry. Hosting a Superbowl party is more about the shopping list than the decor. Here's what you need:

Beer
Lots of it. Plan on guests drinking at least one beer an hour. Have at least one domestic, one foreign and one "lite" variety available. Yes, you will have extra left over - hopefully.

Soda and water
Beverages of choice for tag-along kids and women folk. Make sure you have a diet and a non-caffeinated option.

Snacks
You know that aisle in the supermarket that your trainer insists you avoid? That's the one. You want tortilla chips, salsa and guacamole; potato chips and ranch dip; nacho-flavored chips; salted nuts; etc. If its packaging is bright and obnoxious, put it in the cart. Add manly candy selections to break up the sodium buzz.

Real Food
Man cannot live off of licorice alone. They need meat. Subs are a must. It's the law. Pizza's what you order when you're running late after work. Subs are the male form of "special occasion" food. Nothing says, "I want to fulfill your manly needs" like premium meat slathered in mayo and topped with onions. You want a trip to couple's counseling? Serve taquitos. Just don't say we didn't warn you.

Once you've gathered your necessities and displayed them "man-style" on the buffet table (meaning that the bag of Doritos has been unceremoniously dumped into a mixing bowl), step back and take in the scene - every burping, groin-adjusting inch. See that guy in the middle, the one who's grinning like a drunk bear? That's your happy Honey, and he's worth it, don't you think?

DONT BE A MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACK!
With so much riding on the day, don't call in your second string for reinforcements. Instead, stick with the professionals. We like anything from Jersey Mike's Subs. This testosterone-approved spot makes dude-ready party platters that are the antithesis of "girly-man" sandwiches.

Our suggestion:
Order a handful of the Famous Roast Beef and Provolone (it's made with certified Angus beef), some Original Italians (provolone, ham, proscuittini, cappacuolo, salami and pepperoni) and a few Club Subs (turkey, ham, provolone, bacon). Let them know that it's for a party; the sandwiches will be conveniently cut and wrapped into serving portions - one less thing for you to worry about. There are three Jersey Mike's Subs serving the SCV, and one more on the way: Canyon Country 252-5010; Valencia 775-6288; and Castaic 295-9967.